Above: Bonnie and Bernie on vacation in Maine.
By Scott Cullen, CrossCurrents Editor
For nearly half a century, Bonnie and Bernie Ruekgauer have considered UUCWC their spiritual home. The couple joined the congregation in 1976, just as the church was establishing itself at its Washington Crossing location, and they have been vital to its growth and community spirit ever since. From the early days of mowing the grass and carting away trash after Sunday services to chairing committees, tutoring children, and sharing music, both Bonnie and Bernie have exemplified the spirit of service and fellowship that characterizes our congregation.
Their faith journeys reflect the core of Unitarian Universalism—asking questions, searching for meaning, and finding joy in community. Bonnie, raised Presbyterian, embraced the freedom to question and grow after becoming a UU, while Bernie first discovered Unitarianism during his Army service overseas. Together, they’ve formed strong bonds within UUCWC, finding purpose and belonging through service, music, retreats, and friendships.
Read on to learn more about Bonnie and Bernie’s memories, passions, and the traditions that continue to enrich their lives at UUCWC.
Do you typically attend services in person, virtually, or both?
Bonnie & Bernie: We appreciate the option to do either, so we split our Sundays about in half. Sometimes it is just a matter of the weather.
What inspired you to visit for the first time and/or join?
Bonnie & Bernie: We were looking for a change from the Princeton UU Church where we had attended for six years but didn’t feel comfortable. We were beginning our long stay in West Amwell.
What religion were you raised in?
Bonnie: I was raised Presbyterian and was very active in the “home” church until we were married. After I became UU, I realized I never asked very many questions at that church, just accepted everything as a given. I so appreciate the UU phrase “even to question is an answer.”
Bernie: I wasn’t a church attendee until my early twenties. It was while I was stationed in Korea that my fellow Army buddy told me he was a Unitarian. After he shared his definition of the religion, I said, “That is not a religion.”
If you had to describe your faith journey in one word, what would it be?
Bonnie: Searching.
Bernie: Question.
What committees/ministries at UUCWC have you participated in during your time here?
Bonnie: I have served on the Board, chaired several committees (Fellowship, Membership, Social Justice), and others, too many to list here. Suffice it to say, I have been a very active member of UUCWC over the years. I especially enjoyed chairing or co-chairing our annual Kirkridge Retreats.
Bernie: Many years as Chair of Building and Grounds; over 20 years as a tutor in the Homefront Tutoring Program; Chair of the Memorial Garden Committee; guitarist in several musical groups. Always available when needed.
What do you like best about being a member of UUCWC?
Bonnie: I appreciate the opportunity to be my true self. I have been encouraged to grow through exploration, leadership, and relationships. Also, I have so many friends in the church; being with them is a great source of joy.
Bernie: There is always a need for me to feel helpful in one way or another.
What’s one thing about our church community that makes you feel at home?
Bonnie: Having been a member of the church for about half a century, I know a lot about the building, and that gives me a feeling of being home. We joined just as the church relocated to Washington Crossing; we were a congregation of under 100, and everyone contributed by doing everything from cleaning the building to taking the garbage home and cutting the grass. We had a sense of ownership which made the church feel like our second home, and that’s still true for me. This has changed a bit with the recent renovation, but I still know where some of the bodies are buried. Ha!
Bernie: There are so many ways you can help! Also, meeting new members.
What’s a favorite hymn or worship song that brings you comfort?
Bonnie: To be honest, my favorite hymns are the ones we used to sing in the church of my youth. It’s the melodies and the memories that bring comfort, even though the words don’t hold much meaning. At UUCWC, my heart is always uplifted when we sing “Spirit of Life.”
Bernie: No one special song.
Do you have a favorite church memory that always makes you smile?
Bonnie: I have so many wonderful memories, but I’ll never forget our Kirkridge Retreats. We got to spend quality time with other members, making great friends. I was always among those who spent the last worship service on Sunday in tears.
Bernie: A groundbreaking Saturday in 1975 with Rev. Carl Bierman, aware of cows in the field across the street.
What do you do for fun when you’re not at UUCWC or attending an online service or UUCWC-related meeting?
Bonnie: Since my back surgery and resulting mobility restrictions, I spend most of my free time reading, playing games, and doing puzzles. Fortunately, I’m still able to get out for lunch with the girls and other social events. I love going to a good movie!
Bernie: Learning to play the guitar, being a member of the Lambertville Acoustic Music Players, and working on my outside property.
What’s one piece of advice that has stuck with you throughout your life?
Bonnie: As my mom grew older and people asked how she kept going, her reply was, “I get out of bed in the morning, put one foot in front of the other, and see what the day brings.” I try to follow that excellent advice.
Bernie: Be open to new adventures.
What’s a simple act of kindness that has significantly impacted your life?
Bonnie: When I was between jobs, Ruth Samsel invited me to come work at South Brunswick High School, where she was chair of the Guidance Dept. That vote of confidence changed my life entirely.
Bernie: My wife Bonnie saying “yes.”
What’s your go-to comfort food?
Bonnie: Coffee Heath bar ice cream.
Bernie: Rice pudding.
What’s one skill or talent you have that most people don’t know about?
Bernie: A history of long-distance running.
What’s a tradition in your family that you cherish?
Bonnie: I very much appreciate our annual trips to the coast of Maine. We first went camping there, back in the 70’s when our boys were young, and we have been going on and off for all these years. Our sons and their families often join us, meaning we cherish the time even more.
Bernie: Lighting the live candles on our Christmas tree.
What was your most memorable vacation destination?
Bonnie: We’ve had the privilege of traveling to many states, as well as some countries in Europe. But the most memorable time for me was being in Martinique for our 5th anniversary. We went with our best friends, and we’ve traveled with them many times since, but Martinique stands out. The beauty, the food, the music, the fun. We were young and free. It was a special time!
Bernie: I agree with Bonnie.
What’s one thing you’re grateful for this week?
Bonnie: I’m writing this as we end up our third week in Maine, so, needless to say, I’m grateful for the joy of being in this place that I’ve dubbed Paradise.
Bernie: Spending three weeks in Maine and enjoying a cottage that overlooks the bay. This is our 14th summer in the same cottage. We know all the great spots in the area and love taking long walks, going to concerts, shopping, visiting coastal sites, and meeting people.